Are you driving men away?
9 Dating turn offs for guys.
Our list of things that make most guys cringe.
Have you met a guy who seemed completely in to you, and all of a sudden, he started losing interest or avoids you after a few conversations? Or you got a guy’s attention, but he didn’t respond well to you after the first date? Are you driving men away by turning them off unintentionally?
DISCLAIMER: All guys are different, what one finds disgusting the next guy might think is the ultimate turn on, so there are no hard and fast rules. And yeah, guys do weird sh*t they think women love. Almost everything women to do make themselves desirable is awesome and deserves tons of positive reinforcement and of course you HAVE to be yourself. We understand that ultimately you can’t change to find a man so we’re not suggesting you do, but… these are just some things you might want to think on.
1. Being too Easy & Moving Too Fast
This statement is not just about sex, it is about everything! Keep a little mystery. Guys like to have something to work for, a partner that’s interesting and won’t give away everything on the first date. Don’t behave Oh and yes, your grandma was right ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’like you’re in a relationship after the first few dates. You’re not desperate. Wait until there’s been some ‘do you want to be exclusive’ talk or you’ll end up scaring the guy away. Don’t get home from your first date and change your relationship status on Facebook. And don’t start calling him all the time and expect him to talk for hours about his life and his future because he told you he likes you and wants to see you again for a second date!
2. Playing too hard to get.
This is the other side of being too easy. Yes we remember ‘The Rules’ and we read it and followed it. But sometimes a LITTLE friendly encouragement goes a long way. There’s a line between not telling a man you want to get married on the first date and completely shutting off emotionally. You don’t have to lay out all of your cards, but give hints of your interest to lead him in the right direction. Yes, we know it’s a fine line, but be prepared to send a really nice guy into the arms of a girl who seems a tad more interested in him if you consistently act disinterested (or the deal-breaker: interested in other guys). Men have somewhat fragile egos and no one wants to feel outright rejected.
3. Controlling personality.
Do you have to control everything? He may hold his chopsticks wrong, end a sentence with a preposition, think Olive Garden is fine Authentic Italian dining (isn’t it?) or say quinoa is a fish. Do you feel the impulsive need to correct him? If it’s an occasional thing fine. But if you are criticizing someone more that 2-3 times when you’re together, its probably overbearing. Watch his response. Does he look deflated or angry? He can make his own decisions, just like you can. You don’t have to act like his mother and take care of him.
4. Bad Manners or Unkind attitude.
Bad behavior could be many things, like cutting a guy off in mid sentence, being loud or rude to waiters, or laughing like a hurt moose. Do you take ages to text a guy back to confirm about a date or go talk to someone else during your date, leaving him alone? These may seem like little things that no one notices, but these are way more obvious and annoying that you might think! If you’re rude or aloof, or behave like most people are beneath you, he won’t call you back. Guys appreciate kindness and find it very attractive. If you’re kind to others, even strangers on a street, he will assume you will be kind to HIM and it will make his heart melt a little bit more.
5. Overdone Personal Appearance.
Too much globbed on makeup, nails that look like weapons, perfume that’s too strong and clothes or shoes that are so high or tight or cold that they interfere with your enjoyment of the night are actually a huge turn-offs for guys. They like girls that look good, but there is a fine line between stylish and over done. If you’re not sure err on the side of simple and not over done. And remember, people will judge you by your appearance. What are you saying about yourself?
6. You’re Too in Love with Yourself to Have Any Room for Him.
Be confident and self assured — proud of who you are and your achievements. But acting like a vain peacock is not attractive. What’s the difference? Three words: Duck face selfies. Constantly talking about yourself… even if he tries to say something about his own life, you shift the conversation back to you? But enough about me Kevin… What do YOU think about my dress?” Do you compare anything he talks about to something you’ve experienced? “Your Mom died when you were 12? That’s terrible. It’s like when my cat got super sick…” Sometimes just listen. It will be your turn next. You may think you’re impressing him with your vast experience, but turning anything he says into your personal story comes off as arrogance and self-centered instead of a charming ‘me too’ story!
7. Complaining & Negative.
Always avoid putting him down or complaining about things unnecessarily. High maintenance is NOT a compliment and contrary to some women’s misguided belief it does not equal sophistication. Or are you the type of person who puts herself down, fishing for compliments? Do you make sure you look perfect, then criticize yourself so he’ll say how gorgeous you are? Guys can see through this attention seeking behavior. You’ll just look like a pain in the a$$ drama queen. Guys – and most people in general want to be around positive people.
8. Too Many Distractions.
Your phone keeps ringing, you’re looking around the room, you keep getting up from the table – just for a SECOND, and you’re texting… A girl that’s distracted on a date is a big put off for any guy. If he took the time to plan a date, and wants to spend time with you, show some respect and give him your full attention.
9. Taking his Chivalry for granted.
If he acts like a gentleman and treats you respectfully, don’t take it for granted. Thank him and smile when he holds the door open for you, don’t act like he’s your servant, he’s not. You aren’t entitled to anything in your relationship, just like he’s not entitled to anything. You do things for each other because of love, kindness, and a desire to make each other happy. Always treat him with the same respect he gives you. If he doesn’t give you respect, well that’s different, sounds like the date is over.
Watch out for these dating turn offs and avoid crossing the line between cute and cRaZeEE. Remember we all have little quirks or don’t do the right thing all of the time – we’re talking about over doing these bad habits. Good luck out there, you are a beautiful precious gem that deserves love.